A year without you

 As I sit here in this very room carrying my child, I pictured your last days in this room. The last time I came in and sat with you, the light was off and it was dark. I asked if you were okay and if there's anything I can do. In a quiet yet confident voice you told me that all is good and that you are just waiting for the final scan results from the hospital. I trusted your words, a you are a medical professional yourself. We talked for a bit and I walked thinking we will be fine. Little did I know, this would be the last time we sat down together. 

It's just the kind of person you are. You never wanted to be a burden to anyone else - even your immediate family. You've got a wonderful spirit that all that you have crossed paths with would forever cherish. You are my longest best friend and brother. Since childhood we were inseparable and I am blessed to have you as my family and close to me. 

Roccoh
The last picture in my phone of Late Desmond Roccoh Manui
in May 2019 at Gerehu 5, Port Moresby NCD


Yesterday marks a year since you've left us. I've preoccupied myself the entire day trying to avoid reality and thinking the pain would sneak out after the sunset. But a call from home brought them back, followed by the pictures of the flowers I sent to your resting place. I am torn as I write this. I cannot speak about you to anyone for more than 5 minutes because I'd pause every second just to regain my strength and hold back my tears. 

One thing for sure is that your memories will live on. I named my child after you so that your name will live on in our family and you will never be forgotten. I'll tell him all about you when he grows up because I know that if you were here, you will be his favorite uncle. My brother, my heart aches, but I find relief knowing you are in no pain no more, that you are resting peacefully till the day you are called upon to rise and fulfill your destiny in paradise. I'll try to be strong to live up to the goals we've set. Bata, laikim yu, bai yumi orait.



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