Bad Feelings

"... still creeping me out."




Today was no any other ordinary day. Dad came to visit (actually to witness something) yesterday, it was exciting yet I had this bad feeling that something terrible was going to happen. Maybe because my cousin borrowed a friends car for us to drive around without any supervision or very little experience in driving. Maybe because I don't trust his driving. The entire afternoon, I had that bad feeling, even when they came to pick me up from work. I thought it was the driving but we drove around safely that night, even I drove! With no experience on public roads, I drove well - I think so.




Went to bed and woke up in the morning and this bad feeling is still creeping me out. Today is the big day, I just hope the weekend ends quickly so I can go back to my normal boring self.

I didn't call my girlfriend yesterday in the night, I hope she understands why. I had a lot going on here. This bad feeling is just ruining my yesterday and today, I just hope it goes away tomorrow.

I miss her, I need to talk to her maybe she could be the only one who really understands me. I've been letting her down almost 80% of the time we have been apart. I miss the days in Uni where we can roam freely and not worry about the world. The real world is just cruel, its like 3% good and 97% bad and we try our best to hold on that 3% as long as we can, then go through the 97% every day just to reach the 3%

My growing up is very different from the life I have now. My parents were faithful church goers. We study the bible almost every day. All our actions and words must be based on bible teachings. We were a happy family, just the 6 of us. The world cannot shake us in those days, my parents knew exactly what to do on almost every occasion. Things started to change when we grew up, we had to attend public schools and spend most of our days away from our parents. My parents made sure we follow these golden ru

I never thought I would become who I am today, I was the "white-sheep" of the family, the "good boy", my parents trusted me to make all the right decisions and make them proud. This all changed when I got to Uni, but it wasn't bad change, I met friends who care about me and my well being, "my family away from family" - we share everything, live all our days together - I miss those days.

I met my favorite person in the world, although I don't seem to show it, I loved her deeply and care so much about her. She can be annoying, stressful and a handful sometimes but who doesn't? I wish we could escape the world and make a world of our own with all the things we love!


I'd rather have a house upon a hill overlooking meadows with my own workshop and all the tools I need to build anything. A farm that supplies us and everyday we get to wake up to the sun rise and the beautiful green grass surrounding. I know this could be achieved

My story continues and we shall see the outcome of what this bad feeling is all about. Maybe its a sign that I should think critically about the life I'm living now and make some changes to meet the goals I once had as a kid growing up in a humble home

TO BE CONTINUED
Location: Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea

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